System Overload - Day Three

I wanted to say, that I have had a day where the information does not compute.  Many objectives that I had in social justice I see mirrored in other people, to the extent, it does not help for me to join, but rather gather myself for the next moment I may need strength. We all have been looking for clues, digging into conspiracy, questioning what is real that the idea of the truth coming out from the elite seems far fetched, like you would have to pry it out of their hands while they tried to take it to their graves.  It gave me the concept of the "third ego" as though there has been so much mudslinging against everything imaginable that we have to collect the pieces on the ground and use rudimentary skills to express it's possible to live with knowledge, that the external world will still exist upon you taking a moment for yourself to truly immerse yourself in everything you have fought for up to this point.

There is these electronic vibes that doesn't translate into everyday living, into face to face communication that it seems like the breaking point is near.  That for better or worse you will have to accept certain things, there is certain limitations in everyone's life that once reached, it's not such a big deal. Instead of zeal and envy, thirsting for righteousness, you'll have to come to terms that you made it pretty far and it's time to meditate on the whole collection you got while searching the metaphysical landscape for every shred of substance the human race will still need to go on. The question is what would you do with power at your disposal, for we have had glimpses at the entire careers of notable figures and their youth was not so different.  We know their injustices, their corruption, their intent, and it seems that the longer you are a victim to fighting fire with fire, you will never be able to toss them down or have equal footing with "them".  What have they taken from you, time, security, financial comfort, all to be considered part of a new educated peasantry, that to them is nothing, because they understand they have the tools of manipulation at their disposal.

I want other people to understand the commonality of fighting for justice, that even those on a different side of a political spectrum see as clear as day the same things you might, it's just the language and background is different. So, when I am asking forgiveness for myself here, it is about fighting, in all these minuscule ways for justice and equity that I haven't won a trophy for, that may have been seen differently than the intent. From them, an elite, a group of people claiming you have every right to accede to this American Dream.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed that I was blind, that I couldn't see everything for what it really was, that not many have all vision at their disposal and that tossing the fire around only helps wildfires and not a targeted destination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose my grounding over being too volatile, too wrapped up in the feelings of victim-hood, the feeling of being caught in a war that wasn't exactly explained to me in any civil manner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed, that I had extreme amounts of envy to take and learn for myself if there wasn't a class for it, whatever I could as the truth, the roots that I felt criminals stole, maybe from me, but more likely everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste valuable time obsessing over issues that I wanted everyone to know about, political and social crimes, wars and terror attacks. That just by shouting in redundancy that this happened, I didn't help create an answer that other people could understand.

Sorry that today is short, there is actually a lot happening on our social media in politics, in the world. Crimes and elections, to wars and coups in Turkey and elsewhere.  If I could do anything it is to provide substance, use substance, so that at a later day of exercising this practice, much more can flow through me.

Thank you.