My Resistance - Day Ten

I went through several lessons in the DIP Lite, as it was stating some of the same things I have been dealing with in compiling a daily blog, the resistance. I haven't got out a pen and paper to truly analyze my inner world, but the computer does a good enough job I could say. Where you can edit and perfect what you are saying about yourself. If I am to get to the root of this resistance, it has several points to it, and one important one being is this interesting, do people really care about this, would I get any feedback that could be helpful in the future. I think many people that have seen my blogs could be amazed that I tossed that out of my psyche into a blog without much thoughts in doing such, it just came naturally as I have been working on self-improvement many years, so a lot of topics about relationships and all this are definitely not foreign to me, I am not naive about basically psychotherapy. I have been involved with it a long time to learn about some very specific things like triggers to enabling and codependency. The idea that was presented to me in writing these thoughts on paper, is hard, like the physical act is not common for me. I know my keyboard more than I do a pen, it has been years since specifically using pen and paper more than a computer. One of the key things I need to focus on is slowing down. My brain has a habit of spinning at great speeds that it is hard to materialize into a solid foundation. There always seems to be things I am chasing but I don't know where it has got me. So today, I am focusing on slowing down my thought processes and also that I am up against a personal resistance, like maybe that is TMI, maybe it's not interesting, if I state that have I given up on what I was previously up to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get swept up, to not ground myself and to overthink about my situation. That the voices I hear in my head are triggering and I don't need to do anything to feed them in destabilizing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed that I give up on a lot of things, even when I have the time on my hands to achieve better for myself. That I don't take a breath and really meditate on some important issues to get more intimate with my inner world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed that I do have serious resistance, that it's difficult to find my time for this and that it's a bit of procrastination. That this is actually one thing that is helping me, much better than psychotherapy because I am applying my situation into documents, and that eventually I need to grab a pen and paper and just review this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed that I have limited my time in a day. I feel in the summer, in hot temperatures there is a lot less hours in one day. I can't explain it precisely but in general the heat zaps me of focus, it frays my thoughts and I spend a lot of time figuring out how to not get upset or irritated at situations that really don't bother me at other times of the year.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed that I went head first into territory I didn't read, that reading certain things was exhausting and therefore all things are exhausting. I think in that fatigue you really get behind in keeping up with daily life and taking time for yourself.

Thank you.